On the Seventh Day, while God Rested, the Devil Invented the Swoosh

I recently came across this article which was written before the new Capital One logo became official. I think we can all sympathize with this.
I have to begin by apologizing for the tiny logos you see above and for the more-than-usual lack of information. Since this identity launch is not official yet, there is little to no information, much less supporting graphics. But an update this… hellish, deserves special advance screening. Regardless of when this will be official, it will not be a second too soon to bask in Swooshiness 3.0 — yes, it's on a revival course. The old logo was nothing to admire, with its extended italic sans, and flimsy, subscript, italic serif, but at least it didn't have a swoosh. As I write this, I am actually glad there is no press release about the new logo, as I can't imagine it being anything less than infuriating. Nothing, in the year 2008, can justify the use of a swoosh. Much less a swoosh with gradients and bevels. Even less for one of the major financial players in the U.S. — next time you check to see what's in your wallet, really, check that you don't have this in it. Perhaps we've been living in purgatory since 2000 and Xerox just opened the gates to hell — and hell looks like the Capital One logo.